One of the things which Sebastian and I spent a lot of time talking about during my visit in Bristol earlier this week was the importance of open-mindedness. I know that I have talked about this many times before, and some of you might think “Alright, we get it, stop nagging about it”, but if that’s how you feel I’m afraid that I’m going to have to disappoint you. For me, this is one of the most important issues there are, and I will probably continue to bring it up for as long as I live because unfortunately I doubt that there will be much change in people’s attitudes during my lifetime. Sebastian shares many of my opinions about this and we have therefore decided that we are going to collaborate and write a series of posts, in which we will discuss different aspects of open-mindedness.
To start this project, I would like to begin by trying to explain to you what I mean when I say open-mindedness. I don’t think it is necessary to be open to doing anything you are asked to be open-minded; there is no need to do things which you might not feel comfortable with doing. What you need to be able to do however, is in many ways more challenging and uncomfortable than all those other things put together: You need to be able to accept that although you might feel like you know how you want to live, there may be others who have chosen different life-styles and who are also perfectly happy with their lives. Every single person is shaped by so many different factors ranging from genes to cultural heritage, parental influences, school, friends etc. There is rarely a right or wrong way in which to live. To be open-minded is in my mind the ability to acknowledge this and to try to see beyond people’s choices and life-style and instead focus on their personalities. The truth is that most people are nice if you approach them with an open and accepting attitude.
To be open-minded does not mean that you need to love everyone you meet. You are bound to feel like you have very little in common with many people, and you are probably not going to like everyone’s personality and if that is the case you don’t have to be friends with them. However, you need to understand that this does not necessarily mean that you are living the right way and the other person has chosen the wrong life-style. I have previously said that to be open-minded you don’t have to change your world, but you need to be able to take a step out of it now and then and visit the “parallel worlds” in which the people around you live.
This guy has misunderstood
the concept of open-mindedness…
Sebastian has a quite sarcastic and brutal sense of humor sometimes, and when I met some of his university friends I noticed that a couple of them seemed to be taking him too seriously. I really liked these people, and I thought it was a shame if they had misunderstood what kind of person Sebastian is. Afterwards we talked about this and Sebastian said that he knows that he should probably show more clearly when he is joking and when he is being serious. I agree about that and I think that would help others understand him better. However, at the same time Sebastian’s humor is a large part his identity and I would find it sad if he would have to change that completely just because others want him to be different. In situations like these I think open-mindedness can build bridges, prevent misunderstandings and help people connect in spite of differences. In this case, Sebastian needs to understand that with some people he might have to switch down his humour a bit and his friends need to accept that Sebastian has chosen to face life with a very light-hearted attitude because it is a life-style that suits him.
Of course, nobody is perfect. For instance I personally – ironically – often find it hard not to judge close-mindedness. This in turn makes me less open-minded myself! I try my best to at least be aware of this however, and that is a good start. I hope that by writing about it and giving you everyday examples, Sebastian and I will be able to provoke your thoughts a bit too and make you reflect upon what attitudes you might have and why you hold certain opinions!
This is all I had to say for now though,
Hanna
This was also published in Hanna's blog: A Little Blog About Words
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